


Shattered Dreams

by Dragongirl180



Series: Gabenath One-Shots [11]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrinette kind of?, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, I was in a mood, Nightmares, Regret, i wrote this in an hour before bed, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21703432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragongirl180/pseuds/Dragongirl180
Summary: Gabriel finds himself reliving all his mistakes, real or not.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Series: Gabenath One-Shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1493399
Comments: 8
Kudos: 75





	Shattered Dreams

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NinaGaetana](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NinaGaetana/gifts).



> Why yes I did look up a playlist of sad songs and listen to them until i was good and in my feels just for the purpose of writing this.
> 
> NinaGaetana is a gift and her works are wonderful. Stan her or die by my sword (jk no die)

Gabriel Agreste was lost.

Every day it was getting harder and harder for him to remember exactly when it had happened. There were days he would wake up and find that his memories weighed heavy. The morning radio came to him through a haze, the happy man in the little box barking out the day’s news, blissfully unaware of the pain that permeated the small room.

The earliest memory he had was the day Nathalie walked out on him. He could still smell her perfume, a subtle blend of flowers and citrus that always calmed him down whenever he inhaled it. It had done little to combat his emotion that day.

He could still see that signature streak of red in her hair, though it had been dulled by her mood that day. He seemed to recall the guilt that had been floating around her in a haze, it had caused her to neglect her appearance.

Sometimes he would close his eyes and see the tears that had marred her flawless complexion. What made her cry? He had…yelled at her…called her the most terrible things. It was right after he had slapped her hand away. Even in her state, she had tried to grab his hand and tell him everything would be ok. She had tried to comfort him and he had punished her for it. He had told her he never wanted to see her again.

The sound of her sobs, as that usually stoic expression of hers broke, had felt like a knife being stabbed in his heart. Later, the cold detachment of her resignation letter had only driven it deeper. What was it that Nooroo said as they heard the office door slam behind them?

“Master…what have you done?”

Yes. What had he done?

It was a week after the day Nathalie had meekly whispered to him that his own son was Cat Noir, his sworn enemy. He should've been shaken to his core. He should’ve fallen to his knees and cried as the regret of his actions threatened to drown him. He had almost given up before when Adrien’s safety was even hinted at being called into question. What made this time different?

He had chastised his own son and tried to force him to fight the girl he loved. The girl who had just broken his heart on the order of his father. All this mere minutes after he had seen his beloved mother in a comatose state. She’d been down in the basement for almost two years while Adrien walked above her and wondered why she had left them and where she had gone.

“We can save your mother using your Miraculous and hers!”

“No, just stop!”

“If she really loved you, she'd let you save your mother!”

“Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!!”

Cat Noir’s anguished cries echoed throughout his nightmares every night. No matter how hard he tried to remedy them, they always came back in full force. Cat Blanc had destroyed the city. He had wreaked havoc and shown no mercy to anyone. He’d almost won.

That was, until a certain peahen came back and thwarted his plans. Ladybug had surely been very shocked to see her enemy offering to help save Chat Noir. It was easier to swallow once she realized Mayura had been Nathalie the entire time, the woman who had acted as a surrogate mother to her beloved kitty. 

The news had later stated that once the akuma had been defeated, Mayura had willingly given up her miraculous before disappearing without a trace. Ladybug never revealed her identity. She hadn’t been so kind to him. His plea deal was all that saved him from prison. That and a good word from Ladybug of all people, now known to everyone to be Marinette Dupain-Cheng—The very girl that had started all of this.

He had already been empty for so long, but it all came to a head the last time he spoke to his son. The monitor on his ankle weighed a ton as he sat there and stared at the boy sitting across from him. His green eyes had never looked darker, they were almost grey. He had also dyed his hair a very dark brown. Gabriel always wondered if it was to distance himself from his father or to become a new person entirely. 

What hurt the most was not that Adrien hated him, on the contrary, it was because he didn’t. Adrien looked 10 years older as he sat there and told him that he could never hate him, but he could never forgive him either. He didn’t even hold back his tears as he explained how he loved him so much, but couldn’t stand to even look at him. He wondered aloud if he even regretted what he had done. Gabriel felt so ashamed that he couldn’t even find his voice in order to tell him that he did. He hated himself for what he had become. 

The image of his son looking back at him, before Amelie escorted him out of the house, never left him. Even as he signed the papers that relinquished custody to his sister-in-law, the image still persisted. He had sold the mansion and moved to the outskirts of the city. His small two room apartment was supposed to be his own appointed prison cell, but it didn’t feel that way. Nothing would ever be a fitting punishment. How he longed to go back and take a different path, but now that was impossible. There was no way back. There was no way to make it right. His actions had burned deep.

Marinette and Adrien split up not long after. He read an article saying how it was stress and emotional differences that had driven them apart. She reminded him too much of all that had happened. Once he had moved to London, the relationship was as good as dead. He had closed his eyes and wished that it wasn’t true. Deep down he knew it wasn’t though. Everywhere he went, he ruined all kinds of relationships.

It was the city coroner who took care of his comatose wife. After being taken off life support and declared dead, they buried her in a modest grave in the country. He saw a picture of the gravestone after. They had chosen to bury her under her maiden name. It was for the best.

Ever since Emilie had fallen into an endless sleep, he had turned into a completely different person. The Gabriel she had married was long gone. He had died with her and had been replaced by an evil monster. On the rare nights that his son’s cries were not echoing around him, it was that monster that appeared before him. It had the clothing of Hawkmoth, but glowing red eyes and incredibly sharp teeth, always set in a wicked grin. When it got closer, he always noticed the scaly green skin first, followed by the claws on its fingers. Claws that would sink into his skin and slice through it like butter, cutting him into ribbons.

It seemed unfair that no matter how much he strived to be the man his conscience wanted him to be, it would keep taunting him with his failures. Each time the regrets reemerged he would diligently analyze them again, hoping that this time his mind would be satisfied with his self professed remorse, but it never was. Like an unforgiving specter it would be back tomorrow to haunt him all over again. 

Sometimes it would laugh or speak to him. The voice always changed. Adrien. Nathalie. Nooroo. Marinette. Emilie. Every night was someone different but the words stayed the same.

“Look at what you’ve done.”

“You killed your wife.”

“You threw away your only son.”

“You pushed away the only woman who thought you could be saved.”

“You don’t matter to anyone.”

“Soon enough, your name will be forgotten. Your face will be forgotten. **You** will be forgotten.”

“You’ll die alone in this disgusting place and no one will care. You’ll never be found. No one will cry for you. No one will miss you.”

“They’ve all moved on. If only you could see how they thrive without you.”

“It’s. All. Your. Fault.”

* * *

Gabriel Agreste opened his eyes.

His heart was pounding in his ears and his breaths came out in strangled gasps. Even the oxygen around him was trying to get away from him. He was only slightly aware of the person next to him until he felt arms around him.

“Gabriel it’s ok. Shhh it’s ok. It’s all ok.”

Even in the darkness, he would know her anywhere. Her melodic voice, even when it was raspy with sleep. That faint smell of flowers. Her soft hands trying to soothe him. 

“I don’t deserve you. I don't…”

“Yes you do, don’t be silly.”

It wasn’t until he felt her gentle hands on either side of his face that he looked at her. Into those beautiful blue eyes. Those eyes that were currently filled with worry.

“Nathalie,” his voice sounded broken.

“You had another nightmare, didn’t you?”

He could only nod.

“Oh Gabe,” she said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“This one was different. It was like every single thing was all combined into one giant hellscape. I hurt everyone. Adrien and Emilie and Marinette…I hurt you.”

“We both know you’d never do any of that.”

“I akumatized him. Pitted him against his partner. I forced him to look at Emilie. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“That was all in a dream. None of it was real.”

“But I was still capable of it.”

She reached forward to lay a hand on his cheek, her thumb sweeping away a tear. He brought his hand to hers and pressed it closer to him. All he wanted was to be as close as possible to her. Like always, she seemed to be able to read his mind and pulled him into a tight embrace. Her steady heartbeat pulsed against him as she held him and stroked her fingers through his hair.

“You’ve been doing so well lately. The nightmares were starting to dwindle. What do you think brought them on this time?” she said after a while.

“I don’t know.”

“You mentioned Marinette. She’s a new one. What happened there?”

“I found out he was Cat Noir and I made him fight her. I akumatized him and told him to get her miraculous to save his mother. I broke them up just to upset her. Oh God, Nat what is wrong with me?”

“Absolutely nothing. Mari and Adrien are perfectly fine. They told us they were having a baby just last week. Could it be that you’re scared of being a grandfather?”

He scoffed, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

She chuckled at that. Still stubborn even while he was recovering from another crippling dream. He'd been having them off and on for years now. Even after he had realized Emilie needed to be laid to rest and had surrendered the miraculous to Ladybug.

Finding out Adrien was Chat Noir and vice versa was hard, but they had gotten through it together. He had come to understand his father's reasons for why he did what he did, even if he didn't agree with them himself. They repaired their relationship on their own, but Gabriel's marriage to Nathalie and the subsequent addition of two new faces to the household had helped even further. 

“I seem to recall you having horrible nightmares before Sophia and Lucas were born. If both of my pregnancies triggered this buried guilt, then I don't see why them having a child couldn’t affect you as well. You’re too hard on yourself Gabriel. You made mistakes, but you also made amends. You fixed everything.”

“What if I haven't done enough? What if he hates me? What if the other two grow up to hate me?"

“All three of them adore you.”

“What if you hate me one day?”

“That will never happen.”

“It could! I remember all those times I yelled at you. The times when I didn’t appreciate you or treat you the way you deserved. I was a horrible boss, Nat. I’m a horrible husband too.”

“No. Stop it. Look at me.”

He reluctantly pulled himself away from her warmth and looked up at her. Try as he might, he just couldn’t be miserable when he was looking at her. She was the most lovely woman he'd ever laid his eyes upon.

“I love you and I always will. You know that better than anyone. No matter what your nightmares tell you, you are not the monster you think you are. Your children love you. Your daughter-in-law loves you. Your wife loves you. Your future grandchildren will love you. That is all that matters. You are loved, my sweet.”

She ended her declaration with a soft kiss, one that he was quick to deepen. His fingers tangled in her long black hair as he silently returned his love for her. He had never felt quite so happy and wonderful than when he was in a passionate embrace with her. When they broke the kiss to breathe, he pressed his forehead against hers, rather than pull away, and let out a shuddering breath.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I swear I am so thankful and lucky to have you. I don’t know where I would be if I didn't have you and this family.”

Tears started to fall down his cheeks, but she was quick to catch them. He closed his eyes and let her comfort him once more. Her palms were warm as they wiped away the wetness from his face.

“Gabriel. It’s all ok. I promise.”

“Do you?”

“Of course. Always. I love you.”

“I love you too. I love you so much.”

She smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. He quickly found himself glued to her once again as she trailed her fingers over the back of his neck and shoulders. As he finally felt his eyelids getting heavy with sleep, she started to hum. He couldn’t place the song, but it was as beautiful as her. It filled his ears and drowned out all his remaining bad thoughts. 

The soft melody was all he could think of as he fell into a sleep filled with pleasant and calming dreams.

Gabriel Agreste was home. 

**Author's Note:**

> After finals week I will have a lot more time to write so you can be sure to see lots more stuff from me. Hiatus is the best fuel for my writing and ideas


End file.
